Oh God. There are times when I scare myself with what I write.
After having a thirty minute meditation session with my brainwave entrainment
music I fell into a state of half-sleep for about another twenty to thirty
minutes. After eating some ravioli,
ramen, and a ham sandwich I felt reinvigorated. I turned to my usual source of
inspiration, focus, and energy. Really haunting and vampiric organ music. Something
about the organ speaks to me. I am sure it has everything to do with what I
have grown up seeing what this type of music is associated with. A cultured,
frighteningly intelligent noble (preferably a vampire) who lords over a vast
castle on a precipice surrounded by the verdant expanse of an ancient forest. These
sort of meanderings are just flights of fancy. I am sure we would be surprised or
even horrified if we shared the sort of sentiments and thoughts that form the
dilapidated foundation of our frail and mortal egos.
I highly suggest you check out the Vampire Knight series. It
is deliciously tragic; made even more delectable with a soundtrack that adds a
devastating impact which rattles your very bones. It blindsides you repeatedly
and tosses you into the icy desolate wasteland of humanity. After listening to
this particular performance the words and thoughts just poured freely out of
me. Even as I am typing my music continues to push me forward. The apoplectic
fit of egomania which was ignited by my music led to me writing this little
reflective piece. I can only hope to carry the momentum of this fit all the way
to the gym later tonight.
A simple flourish at the end adds a little more depth to a
performance. Even if it is a disjointed one that becomes completely lost to a
sudden collision with the madness of the self and the uncompromising reality of
this world. As I grope feverishly
through this fog I occasionally catch glimpses of times that never were and
could have been. After so many years all one can do is laugh and thrash with
reckless abandon. At least with what little strength our aging bodies still
have. As gravity matches its force with our burdens it continues to submerge us
into the earth. Even after we have entered the abyss. In such unforgiving
depths we are loathe to experience it alone. So we call upon those nearby to
join us. So I say “Which of you have the sand to plunge into the very depths of
your own self?”
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